Watching the debate this week and witnessing a chaotic s*%! storm of acrimony, made me think about how much fighting there is going on in the world. More specifically, I was thinking about how often people argue about money.

It’s not just the fights that occur between partners when it comes to finances (which we know can be many) that are the issue. It’s the cruelty that many inflict upon themselves when it comes to thinking about their financial lives.

Your Money Bully

Maybe some of these thoughts sound familiar to you:

• I never should have made that investment
• I should have made that investment
• Why did I waste money on that?
• I suck when it comes to managing my money
• I’ll never be good at handling my money
• Crap, that was stupid (“that” being a myriad of actions)
• Why does this always happen to me?
• I’m an Idiot. Why can’t I make better money decisions?

Your inner money bully might sound a bit different than this – but we all have one that rears its ugly head at times. No good will come from listening to this voice. It’s plain old wrong. I promise you. When you listen to your money bully’s rants it starts to feel true but — It. Is. Not.

What to do? Tell it to shut the fork up (anyone else watching The Good Place? You’ll get that reference.)

Shift Your Attention – Cancel/Clear

Seriously. Stop it. Shift your attention when you catch these thoughts floating through your mind. Notice your feet, rub your fingers together, or take a deep breath. Do something to regain power over these thoughts instead of getting swept away by them. I also say to myself “cancel/clear.” Cancel that thought, clear it away and replace it with a different (more supportive) one.

With all of the meanness happening in the world choose to make a difference – start with being kinder to yourself.

Every good wish,

P.S. Hey, if you’re in financial services and want to learn how to grow in this new reality we’re all in there’s more here.

P.P.S. When you’re ready and the time is right, let me know if you want to have a conversation about how to listen to and understand your own thoughts and beliefs when it comes to money. Email me at ellen@ellenrogin.com and put “money thoughts” in the subject line.

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