You may have heard that only 9% of people actually hit their new year’s goals. Do you then beat yourself silly about it? Or are you just resigned to believing goal setting doesn’t really work?
Think about your financial goals… Often people spend a lot of mental energy on wishing they had made a financial move and didn’t or regretting a decision they made with their money. Weirdly it’s as if we think being hard on ourselves will help us achieve the goals we really want. That’s like if I constantly yelled at our puppy about what she was not doing while expecting her to know what I really want her to do (like leaving the dog park)!
Research has shown that a practice of self-compassion is very effective in goal achievement. When I learned this, I realized it’s just what people need more of to meet their financial goals – being more kind to themselves.
Why is self-compassion helpful in hitting your goals? Well, the research points to this practice helping us regulate our emotions and boost the belief in our ability to change.
How do you apply self-compassion?
Here is a three-step process outlined by researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, which I have added to for a financial focus:
- Practice Mindfulness: be aware of but do not “over-identify” with your thoughts or emotions and feelings of suffering. With your money this might show up as worry that you won’t be okay down the road. Or a feeling in the pit of your stomach relating to a financial decision.
- Acknowledge Common Humanity: recognize that suffering is part of being human – and not just that “there’s something wrong with me.” It is really common for people to worry about their money. One study showed that 77% of Americans are worried about their finances.
- Offer Self-kindness: meet yourself with kindness, rather than self-criticism. Imagine having a dear friend or trusted advisor talking to you about the situation you are worried or upset about. What would they say? How would they try to make you feel better? This is the way you can talk to yourself about your financial situation.
Reducing financial stress is crucial to building prosperity.
Please try more self-kindness when it comes to your money!
Every good wish,
Whenever you’re ready …
- The second updated edition of Picture Your Prosperity is just out! If you want to learn how to turn your vision into a reality – grab your copy.
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