Come Clean with Your Money Secrets

Do you have a money secret? Maybe something you have yet to share with your partner? Or an outstanding debt or obligation you feel some shame or embarrassment over? Maybe you made a big mistake with money in the past and it’s hanging over you like that cloud of dust surrounding Pigpen in the Peanuts comics.

Here’s my advice. Come clean with your money crap. Everyone has something they need to do, or they wish they hadn’t done when it comes to money.

Money secrets are particularly insidious.

They act like a bug in your computer system slowing down your progress and causing havoc in your financial life. If nothing else, they take bandwidth away from more productive money pursuits.

I was recently talking with a friend (let’s call her Janie) who shared that she was carrying around a huge amount of shame and guilt that she owed money to a former client who invested in her business – which never took off. When I asked if she’d talked to this woman, she said “no … not in years.” I intuitively knew that this was acting like an anchor, not allowing Janie’s current business to grow as quickly as it should. Even though it would be uncomfortable for her, I suggested Janie talk to this woman. I shared that it’s likely this friend had already written off the investment, but Janie could find out what might be needed to make this right.

Make things right.

Here’s what Janie reported back: “I met with her today. The shame and guilt were gone, and I was ready to find a solution that would work for us both. This is what she said when we met … ‘I don’t need the money. Last time we met (3 years ago) I told you then that I had written it off. You gave me so much when we worked together (as client/facilitator) that I expected nothing. I still use your tools today. I have taught my children what you taught me. You made a huge difference in my life when I felt so stuck in my business.’”

Janie hadn’t heard her words three years ago. She hadn’t received the gift she’d been given. After their discussion this time, Janie most certainly did.

So what are you not hearing? Where are you not receiving? There are such precious gifts – like of friendship, love, kindness, and generosity – that you may be missing out on.

Who do you need to talk to about money?

Do it now. I know it might feel scary and uncomfortable to fess up. But with this money secret playing in the background of your mind it already feels bad. Why not see if you can relieve some suffering by coming clean.

Every good wish,

P.S. Hey, if you’re in financial services and want to learn how to grow in this new reality we’re all in there’s more here.

P.P.S. When you’re ready and the time is right, let me know if you want to have a conversation about how to listen to and understand your own thoughts and beliefs when it comes to money. Email me at ellen@ellenrogin.com and put “money thoughts” in the subject line.

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