Blog - Part 19

Is the answer to financial stress found in the bedroom?

Volatile markets make people jittery. According to AARP magazine 76% of boomers are worried about money. When people make fear-based decisions, they are usually poor decisions. So how can you calm down and make sound financial choices in turbulent times? Here are 5 money stress-busting strategies:

Turn off the TV and stop checking your computer. The financial media makes money by selling ads. The more dramatic the news, the more audiences tune in. If you watch long enough you will see there are a variety of opinions and suggestions as to what to do – often conflicting. Information and knowledge are good, but too much will make you crazy. Just as we want to limit our kids’ time texting, using Facebook or watching TV – we need to limit our own time absorbing financial news. A little bit is fine – too much is dangerous to your health as well as your wealth.
Exercise. One of the best ways to reduce stress of any kind it to exercise. You will oxygenate your brain and improve your health. Exercise helps to decrease anxiety and boost blood circulation to your brain. Being physically fit may indeed help you to be fiscally fit.
Focus on what you are grateful for. When you put your attention on what is working in your life you ease some of your suffering around what isn’t working well. There is always something we can find to be grateful for, whether it is your health, people in your life or the beauty in nature. For many this reduces their stress levels and helps to put financial issues in perspective.
Have more sex. According to Dr. Mehmet Oz, recent animal studies have shown that sexual experiences daily over two weeks reduced cortisol release (a stress hormone that affects the brain’s ability to deal with anxiety). Maybe the answer to market volatility can be found in your bedroom.

Check-in on your plan. Often the worry about the financial impact of the economy is worse than the reality. People sometimes avoid looking at their financial plan because they think their worst fears will be realized. A reality check can help you to feel more in control. Knowing the steps you need to take to reach your goals will help ensure you actually accomplish them.

Is Your Financial Plan on Autopilot?

Every Tuesday I drive into downtown Chicago to consult at Metropolitan Capital Bank. I park in the same garage, on the same floor every time so I don’t risk forgetting where I parked my car. The other day I got into the elevator on the 6^th floor and pushed the 1^st Floor button as I do each Tuesday and the elevator doors closed. The woman next to me said “Do you think the elevator is broken?” I had no idea that we weren’t moving. I’m not sure how much time had passed with the elevator doors closed before she said something to me. I smiled and said to the woman “I wonder how long I would have stayed in the elevator before I realized that we weren’t moving.”

At that moment it hit me. How often to do I go through life not being present? Doing what I think I should be doing (pushing the button) and then mentally moving on to what ever my mind happens to be chattering about. I think I’m doing what I should be doing – going through all the right moves – yet being unconscious.

In what ways are you going through the right motions with your finances but not really paying attention? Did you set your allocation for your retirement plan at work and then never looked at the account again? Maybe you got your estate plan completed – but that was 10 years ago and you haven’t pulled the documents out of the envelope you received from your attorney since you got them. What about your longer term goals – are you still working off a plan that brings you joy and excitement?

Setting up systems for your financial plan (such as an automatic savings plan) can be really helpful in getting you to your goals more quickly. Just make sure that you stay aware and awake to make sure that you are actually moving in the direction you desire to go.

How to Bring Peace to Your Commute

I am reading a fabulous book about the benefits of giving – Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier and Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark. There are wonderful, quantifiable benefits for those that do kind acts for others. I just love this book and seem to be mentioning it to everyone I speak to.

My friend Lisa, just shared a fabulous “giving” story with me. She was driving on the expressway one day and let someone in the lane in front of her. The guy opened his window and gave her the peace sign. She laughed and thought this was so great. The next day, while driving, someone was drifting into her lane and she honked her horn at him. Lisa said “I have a convertible and heard him call me a not-very-nice name that started with a ‘B’. I then gave him the peace sign. A little while later, we both came up to a stop light and I looked over at him to see what his response would be. The guy smiled and gave me the peace sign back. This was such a rush!” Lisa turned this guy’s road rage into road rush and they both were so much happier for it!

Every since I heard this story I am giving out the peace sign while I drive. Actually, I am looking for opportunities to do this because I think it is so much fun. Yesterday on Good Morning America I heard that excessive anger can cause heart problems – Who knows…giving someone the peace sign and making them smile might actually save someone’s life!

One of the Most Dangerous Thoughts You Can Have About Money

My friend Julie recently told me the story about when her 8 year-old daughter Kate came home from school and declared that she was bad at math. Julie could not believe her ears. Why would a 3^rd grader think she was bad at math? Julie immediately pulled out Kate’s standardized test results to prove to her daughter that she was indeed great at math (she had scored in the 95^th percentile). From then on Kate did wonderfully well in all of her math classes.

What we think about most is what shows up in our lives

What does this mean? What we say to ourselves is processed by our subconscious and will often bring about results (undesirable as well as desirable results). Have you convinced yourself that you are bad at math, that you make terrible financial decisions and that you don’t do numbers? How do you think having this belief has impacted your financial success? Convincing ourselves that we are weak in an area may be setting the stage for failure.

Don’t sell yourself short

Now, I’m not saying that you must be an expert in every area. Actually, I believe in working with experts. I am a CPA, but don’t prepare my own taxes because this is currently not my specialty nor is it what I enjoy doing. I would rather pay for expert advice and spend my time and energy doing things that I enjoy and also do really well. What I am suggesting is that when we resist a particular area of our lives and when we convince ourselves that we are unable to handle parts of our lives, we are selling ourselves short. Even if you work with an expert it is important to stay involved and aware or you won’t be able to maximize your results.

Women often sell themselves short when managing their money. They have decided they are dumb at all things financial. In actuality, these women often are just inexperienced – they have not yet learned about making good financial decisions. The confusing jargon in the financial world only confirms their belief.

Act the part

What would happen if you were to pretend that you were actually savvy when it comes to money decisions? Try this for a week. See how much easier it is for you to take in information that can benefit you. If you work with an advisor, notice how you are able to ask the right questions and receive answers that add to your confidence level. If you are doing research or your own planning on valuable sites like LearnVest, notice how your attention is more focused. This positive mindset will enable you to learn to be wise in your financial life.

The Best April Fools Prank

On April Fools Day my 11 year old daughter Amy changed the language on my son’s cell phone to Chinese. Not only could he not read his text messages, he could not read the prompts on the phone to change the language back to English. There isn’t much more upsetting for a 14 year old than to have a non-functioning cell phone! Amy felt a great sense of accomplishment and retribution after last year when we convinced her that “they” had moved April Fools day to April 2^nd (because every one knew what to expect on April 1^st).

Steps to Reduce Your Scarcity Footprint

Spontaneous Evolution

I was just rereading Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman’s book Spontaneous Evolution (2009, Hay House). It is fascinating and packed with thought-provoking ideas. Somewhere around the middle of the book they write: “We must redirect our awareness toward reduction of our environmental footprint so that we shift our influence toward greater sustainability.” It struck me that we would all have a healthier financial environment and more financial enlightenment if we make a commitment to our own fiscal sustainability.

So what does it take to be more “green” with your money? It starts with an exploration of your own money values. What is truly important to you in your life for yourself, your family and your community? Does your spending reflect this? Most people are pretty unconscious about where their financial resources go. If instead you are intentional about how you spend as well as how you save, you will be taking a big step forward in your fiscal sustainability.

Is your financial belief system polluted with thoughts of scarcity? We become what we focus on most. Do you spend a lot of time worrying about what you don’t want to have happen? Instead, clean up your mental clutter about money and use that energy you were spending worrying on creating a plan to reach your financial goals.

One of the best ways to care for not only your financial environment, but to create sustainability to a larger community of people, is to be a dedicated giver. You don’t have to be Bill Gates or Warren Buffet to be a philanthropist. You merely need the desire to make a difference for others and the abundance mindset to trust that when you are giving of your financial resources to causes that are meaningful for you, you will be rewarded. Approximately 50% of the world’s population lives on less than $2 per day. To create true sustainability we need to not only responsibly care for ourselves but for others as well.

Our financial system almost crumbled last year. This is a warning of sorts that we must reduce our scarcity footprint and cultivate a financial life grounded in abundance. I can see the bumper stickers now, “Go Green with your Green.”

Yeah! It’s a Snow Day!

The other night my daughter was glued to the TV watching the weather forecast and praying for a snow day. I said to her, “Amy, you really want there to be a snow day so you don’t have to go to school tomorrow, don’t you?” She said “Mom, there’s not a kid that wouldn’t want a snow day!” I wonder when you go from being excited for a snow day to thinking a lot of snow is just a pain.

What a perfect example of how people can look at the same situation and have a totally different viewpoint on it. It’s all about how you look at it.

What are ways that you can look at your financial situation from a different viewpoint? Is there something difficult (maybe a job loss or reduced income, for example) that you can look at differently from the way you currently view it? What would it feel like to move from “It’s so scary” to “It’s so exciting”? You can start by asking yourself what is good in the current situation. What are the possible viewpoints anyone could have?

If you were able to fast-forward 5 years from now, imagine what the best possible result might be. How might your life be different in wonderful ways?

When we are worried that our car might get stuck in the snow, we miss the opportunity to build a snowman.

The Happiest Places to Live

Although it still shocks people to hear this, research has shown that more money doesn’t necessarily translate into more happiness. Now there is a new study that shows that the richest states are not necessarily the happiest places to live. Furthermore, although the U.S. is quite prosperous, we don’t rank in the top 10 happiest countries.

As we approach the New Year, it is a great time to set your goals for 2010. Remember as you are looking at the prosperity you want to create in the coming year, it’s not just about the money. Why not consider setting goals around increasing your happiness? By doing this you will also be spreading the joy – happiness has been found to be contagious!

Making the Warm Holiday Feeling Last All Year Long

During the holiday season I notice how people’s attention turns to giving. Giving gifts to family and friends, as well as giving to charities. Why not resolve in 2010 to be a dedicated giver all year long?

When you make a genuine difference for others, without attachment and expectation of getting something in return, amazing prosperity will come your way. This is a true practice of Giving!

As you concentrate on giving, there is little room for self-absorbed focus on your fears or sense of financial lack. When you give to others, it puts you into proper prospective, generates appreciation and gratitude, and can even humble you at times.

Giving is an art that people who are great with money practice each day. Your gifts can be as simple as a smile to the stranger in the elevator, a compliment given unexpectedly, an offer to bring food to an elderly neighbor or showing appreciation and encouragement to your child.

Starting today, pause and make a list of all the gifts you can give. Be creative and make them simple gifts you can give right now

Don’t Wait for a Dead Bird to Clear Clutter

Is there some task or call you have been meaning to take care of, but just haven’t gotten around to? Have you ever avoided doing something you know is important and used I’m too busy as your excuse? For me that was organizing the office that I use when I consult at Metropolitan Capital Bank.

I am at the bank one day a week where I have a small (very small) office. It is basically large enough for a desk and a chair. My files are kept in bankers-boxes on the floor and I have piles of books in the small space around my desk. Every time I step into the office I think, “Wow, I should really straighten this up.” Then my thinking continues, “There is no where to put anything and I’ve got more important things to take care of today.”

The other day while working on a list of books that we have read in our book club at the bank, I was looking down at the pile of books on the floor, then back at my computer, then back at the books when suddenly I was shocked into the reality that there was a dead bird on my floor (right in between the books and my binders). How could this be? I am working in a bank where the windows are bolted shut for security. Was this really a bird? Why was it on my floor? How long had it been there?

I leaped up to find someone to help get rid of the bird (dead-bird removal was not what I signed up for). I ran down three flights of stairs to the main lobby and found Kevin, a Private Capital manager. “Kevin, I will buy you a car if you come help me upstairs!” (This offer was clearly made out of hysteria.) Kevin (now affectionately known as my wing-man) came to my office armed with a dust pan and broom and removed the bird. I was left with what looked like a crime scene…a white outline of the bird on my floor. I knew that the rest of the clean-up was up to me. I not only cleaned the floor where the bird had been, but also cleaned and organized the entire office and arranged all of my files.

I can’t help but think if I hadn’t been working on the reading list that morning how long it might have taken me to find the bird. Did someone put it there as a test? Maybe this was a message akin to the horse’s head in the Godfather? (Actually we think the bird flew in the day before when the door to the roof was opened by the maintenance crew.)

I have vowed to never wait for this type of “sign” to clean my office. I will do a better job to walk my talk – there is an entire chapter in Great with Money: The Women’s Guide to Prosperity on the importance of clearing clutter to bring more abundance into our lives. I will also listen much more clearly to my inner voice that guides me so well. More importantly I know that challenges often occur to teach us lessons. Sometimes these show up as job losses, illnesses or relationship strains. Mine was just a dead bird. Instead of waiting for a sign that cannot be ignored, let’s all take steps that will put us on the path to prosperity.

What Your Generosity Style Says About You