How Gratitude Got Me in Hot Water

January 5th, 2012

Gratitude is an amazing stress reducer. Feeling out of control and freaked out? Stop and notice what you are thankful for. When you focus on what’s working great in your life it keeps your attention on what you want as opposed to what you don’t want. There is an amazing power in this.

Often we don’t realize what we are grateful for until it’s gone. Daily I am thankful for my family, my health and my business. I will work in the coming year on focusing on the things in my life that I enjoy but often fail to notice. Here’s what happened:

On New Year’s Eve our son noticed water leaking in the basement. My husband and our friend soon discovered a leak in the hot water heater. Off it went – no more hot water for the long weekend. Okay, I was immediately grateful that we caught the leak before there was any real damage. But soon I became very grateful for hot water (which I had previously enjoyed and not really noticed). I soon realized this is a “first world problem”… I really had little to complain about – much of the world lives without hot water (or more importantly clean water).

The comforts that I take for granted, such as our dishwasher (I thought it just heated the cold water – I was wrong) and our washing machine (even on the cold setting somehow it didn’t want to work without the hot water) are now on my grateful list.

There were certainly some benefits in going without a hot water heater. I saved water during my speed showers. Our daughter got to spend more time with her grandmother while she went in search of a hot shower. Most importantly, I will look for something new each day (previously ignored) that I am grateful for.

My attention on gratitude during our hot water outage (and not on how long it takes to get hypothermia in a frrreezing cold shower) may have contributed to the water heater getting fixed in record time. What’s on your grateful list?

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Does Your Personal Operating System Need a Reboot?

December 7th, 2011

Does it seem as if you aren’t moving toward your goals as quickly or efficiently as you have in the past? When my computer is operating too slowly it’s often because I have too many programs open and haven’t rebooted my computer in a while. Or, if I’m really having computer processing issues, I need an entirely new operating system. The same holds true for our personal operating systems. When you are moving ahead at a sluggish pace, maybe you need to hit control alt delete on the approach you are taking to success.

 Put your attention in the right places.

It’s easy to find talk of all the doom and gloom in the world. Why are so many people focusing on the wrong things? Does it help? No. Does it make you feel any better? No. Does it make people around you feel any better? No! So what’s the win with feeling bad? It’s a good way to not take personal responsibility. How could you get ahead when the economy is so bad? How could you live your life’s purpose when Congress is fighting? How can you be responsible with your money when things are so volatile? Okay, so it’s easy to not move through your fear when you can blame others. Easy doesn’t feel very good for very long.

Flip the switch off fear and on success. 

I’ve been accused of being a Pollyanna. I’ll take that title.  What you focus on most is often what is drawn to you. So if you want more adversity, then keep focusing on what is messed up in the world. If you want more success, then put your attention on what you desire and the good feelings you will have when it shows up for you.

So how do you pump up your optimism level and begin to see what’s possible?

Step 1

Put safety locks on the information you subject yourself to.  If you are listening to the news and it’s making you feel bad and anxious, turn it off. If you are talking with people who are focusing on all that is difficult in the world, change the conversation. If you can’t switch to something more positive (some people really love playing in the dirt) then get up and leave.

 Step 2

Focus on what is working. If you are feeling uneasy about your future, focus on what is working well now. Find something that you are grateful for. Gratitude is one of the best ways to boost your happiness level and move you ahead. Take this gratitude further and do something for someone less fortunate than you. If you are feeling like things are difficult financially, remember that half of the world’s population lives on less than $2 per day. Are things really that difficult?

Step 3

Surround yourself with yes-men (or yes- women). I don’t mean the kind who agrees with everything you say and doesn’t challenge you. I mean the kind who says yes to your success. They are there to support you in reaching your goals. You feel good about yourself when you are around them. These people might not necessarily be the people you are most close to (best friends and relatives). They might be people in your business network or a coach you hire.

 If you aren’t currently getting the result you want in your life. Consider these simple steps to defrag your operating system and get things moving again.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Olympic Gold Winners: What’s Their Secret?

December 1st, 2011

What if you think you are doing all the right things but are missing the most important strategy for success?  Maybe you are someone who uses the latest technology to follow your investments, you regularly balance your checkbook and you schedule an annual review of your financial situation. 

But what really boosts your prosperity?  Your inside game – working on the mental conditioning needed to be financially successful.

 The United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has 4 full-time psychologists on staff to help their elite athletes with mental conditioning.  Here’s what they say on their website: “Both research and our experience strongly suggest that as athletes move up into the elite ranks, mental training skills become as important as the physical side of the sport.”

 Recent Training Research

Dr. David Hamilton (Institute of Sports Science research) writes about recent research carried out at the Institute of Sports Science at the Justus Liebig University Giessen in Germany. They compared 5 different groups of people. The first group did 100% of a training program physically, the next group did 75% of the training physically and 25% of the training in their minds, the third group did 50% physically and 50% mentally, the fourth group did 25% physically and 75% mentally and the last group did not train.

 Ready for this? There was only a very small difference in physical improvement between the group doing 100% of the training in the gym and the group only doing 25% of the work in the gym and 75% of the training mentally. It is important to note that mental training must be done the same amount of time as the other groups’ physical training to achieve these results, but WOW you might actually be able to do your workout while lying around on the couch! Our minds are so incredibly powerful.

 Picture Your Financial Goals and See Opportunities

This type of mental training is not just effective for physical activities. We can use mental training for our financial success as well.

There is a small part of the brain called the reticular activating system (RAS) which acts as  a filter for important  information between your conscious and subconscious mind. This is what helps us to hear our name being called across a crowded room, but ignore the background noise of glasses clinking. We have the ability to actually help to program our RAS. The more you program your RAS with thoughts and pictures of your goals, the more likely you are to be open to seeing the opportunities to help create these goals.

 3 Keys to Programming your RAS                                                     

 1.  Choose a Time When You Are Calm

Some of the best times to picture your goals are right when you wake up in the morning and right before you fall asleep at night. Another wonderful time is right after meditation or during exercise when your mind is calm. 

 2.  Focus on What You Want

It is crucial that you focus on what you want to have happen as opposed to what you don’t want to happen. Your RAS is not very discriminating.  If you focus on what you don’t want, for example if you say to yourself, “I don’t want to have to worry about money,” your RAS will focus on worrying about money.  Instead, focus on “I have financial freedom.” Create a specific mental picture of what financial freedom looks like to you.  For example: Where do you live?  How do you spend your time?  Who is with you? 

 3.  Feel the Sensation of Success

Here’s another crucial part of the formula. As you are picturing your goals, make sure to feel the emotion you will feel when your goal happens.  If you are not sure how you will feel, before you start the visualization process think back to a time when you felt very successful.  How did you feel then? Happy?  Excited?  Calm?  Actually feel this emotion as you are creating your mental picture of accomplishment.

This visioning process will train your mind for success. It is so easy in today’s economy to focus on volatility and problems. Stop it! If this is what you focus on, you will find lots of evidence to support your experience of problems. Instead, if you look for the opportunities that arise in times of change, you will find those.

 As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right”

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

What I most want my kids to know about money….

November 2nd, 2011

Girl Counting MoneyWhat would you share with your children about money if you knew they would listen? No matter what the age of your children, there are likely lessons you want to share with them (or wish you had) about money. What would you want them to know? What financial wisdom would you share with them? Sometimes we easily share money guidance with our kids, sometimes we lecture them and sometimes we just wish we had.

 Here are the 42 things I want our children to know about money:

  1. Money is a tool to help you create what you desire in life.
  2. Money is not the be all or the end all. Acquiring lots of money as a goal unto itself will likely leave you feeling hollow when you get there. Instead, build wealth for reasons that you value. Maybe it is for education, or giving. Maybe it is to experience more of life through travel or art or music.
  3. When you are clear on your purpose and your gifts to the world money flows much more easily.
  4. Worry is not a financial planning strategy. Worry and fear about money usually helps guide you right toward what you are worrying about and afraid of. It also causes insomnia.
  5. Having lots of things brings happiness for only a moment. Having lots of wonderful relationships brings happiness for a life-time.
  6. Be generous.
  7. The more you give the more you receive.
  8. It’s okay to receive – actually it is important to be a good receiver as well as a good giver. And, yes you deserve it!
  9. You will make great financial decisions – especially when you believe you can.
  10. Get financial advice and guidance but pay attention and be involved.
  11. Spend less than you earn.
  12. Realize how fun saving can feel.
  13. Never invest in things you don’t understand.
  14. Understand the magic of compounding.
  15. Setting goals – picturing them, feeling them and acting on them will get you where you want to go more quickly than just hoping.
  16. Abundance thinking is much more fun than scarcity consciousness and way more effective.
  17. Carrying a balance on your credit cards is stupid and a waste of money.
  18. Your mind is the best wealth creation tool that you have.
  19. Be grateful.
  20. If you are ever feeling like you don’t have enough – remember that half the world lives on less than $2 per day.
  21. Don’t leave your purse (or wallet) sitting on the seat of your car and expect it to be there when you get back (I learned that one the hard way at age 19).
  22. Take responsibility when it comes to your financial situation – blaming others or the economy or your parents won’t make it your situation any better. Doing something about it will.
  23. Get to the point where you know you will always be okay – that you are resourceful and creative and resilient. When you stop worrying about losing everything you have you’ll be better able to create more.
  24. Get a good accountant – don’t pay more taxes than you need to pay
  25. It’s okay to take risks with your money – just make sure you understand what you will need to do if the risk doesn’t pan out (and sometimes it won’t – that’s part of the learning experience).
  26. Stay optimistic – it is much easier to find opportunities when you are not focused on what you are afraid of.
  27. Never make a financial decision when you are in a panic. Take a breath, call a friend or advisor and then decide what to do.
  28. Contribute the max to your company retirement plan. I’ve never seen anyone sorry that they saved for retirement.
  29. Make sure you understand your tax return before you sign it.
  30. Have a solid team of advisors you trust – an accountant, an attorney and a financial advisor.
  31. The better saver you are, the more flexibility you have to make changes and to be financially resilient.
  32. Earning, saving and investing money is fun.

    I asked my husband what he would share and these got added to the list:

  33. Pay yourself first – set up an automatic savings plan.
  34. Save for a rainy day
  35. Just because you have it doesn’t mean you should spend it
  36. Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you should buy it
  37. Know the difference between a want and a need
  38. Invest wisely and often
  39. If it sounds to good to be true it likely is
  40. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
  41. Keep it simple
  42. Do as your mother says!

 What do you want to add to this list?

What if your kids could grow-up having a healthy relationship with money? Imagine the benefits for them if they did not have any of the baggage that most adults have when it comes to money, investing and financial decision making.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

5 Easy Ways to Make Smarter Prosperity Decisions

October 5th, 2011

The financial news media inundates us with frequent fearful messages as well as helpful ones. It is easy to get glued to the TV waiting to hear the next bad news. When ominous messages and strong personal beliefs intersect and combine, many people finally feel compelled to act, out of feelings of scarcity and worry.

But fear-based decisions are usually poor ones. (This is what causes people to sell low and buy high.) Instead, take a breath and gain perspective.

There are easy ways to make smarter prosperity decisions:

  1. Practice awareness of where you are on the continuum of financial emotions containing fear, scarcity, or abundance. Check your thoughts and determine where your awareness lies. Take the Abundance-O-Meter Quiz for a quick assessment! 
     
  2. To move up on the Abundance-O-Meter, pay attention to what you say to yourself and to others.  Do your beliefs sound like this?  “I’ll never be able to put away enough money.”  If so, catch your voice in action and state Cancel! Clear! out loud when that unwelcome thought comes through. That tells your mind to erase that thought- just like hitting the delete button on your computer.   
     
  3. Practice expecting lavish abundance. Create a new money-mindset by deliberately saying daily a phrase like “I expect, receive, and am grateful for the daily abundance that always flows in many ways into my life.” If the words “lavish abundance” don’t work for you, try “Unlimited Wealth” or find words that fit for you.
     
  4. Have the courage to give up your Same Old Story. We have all had events we did not prefer: a divorce, financial loss or health issue. They were real and gave us a nasty jolt. Get a grip and break your routine when you launch into your old story. You will leave behind a past that brought you pain and unhappiness when you leave behind its story.

  5. Turn your attention toward gratitude.  Teach yourself to review each morning or evening the actual things, events, and people you are grateful for in your life-right now.  This practice will ground you in the present and bring you a sense of true fulfillment.  

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Want prosperity in challenging times? 3 things NOT to do!

September 15th, 2011

Are you finding it takes extra effort to keep a positive outlook during this time of volatile markets and sometimes-disappointing economic news? That is understandable; however, it is important to remember that focusing on what isn’t working and what scares you can make the entire process of getting ahead that much more difficult.

Our financial focus needs to be on what we want to have happen.  How can we do that?

Here are some things you should NEVER do!

1. Listen to the financial news 3 or 4 times a day
Knowledge about what is happening in the world is good, but too much information can be detrimental. Check in with yourself to see how you really feel after watching the financial news. Are you addicted to commentators who are hysterical or are you able to turn off the TV and focus on what’s good in the world? If you need something else to watch try this: Celebrate What’s Right With the World. 

2. Slow down your giving
I know it may sound counter-intuitive to give more in difficult times, but generosity will serve to take your focus off your difficulties and on making things better for others. Whether the way you give is purely financial or if it includes your time and energy, now is the time to contribute.

3. Keep doing the same things, the same way you always have
The world is changing very quickly and it is more important than ever to be flexible. Remember that adage, “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got?” Well, guess what; it doesn’t apply any more. You can no longer do what you’ve always done and expect the same results. The rules are changing and you must do the same. Please keep in mind that change doesn’t necessarily mean bad or worse, it just means different. Maybe all of these changes will make you happier and more fulfilled in the end. 

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Is the answer to financial stress found in the bedroom?

August 11th, 2011

 

Volatile markets make people jittery. According to AARP magazine 76% of boomers are worried about money. When people make fear-based decisions, they are usually poor decisions. So how can you calm down and make sound financial choices in turbulent times? Here are 5 money stress-busting strategies:

 

  1. Turn off the TV and stop checking your computer. The financial media makes money by selling ads. The more dramatic the news, the more audiences tune in. If you watch long enough you will see there are a variety of opinions and suggestions as to what to do – often conflicting. Information and knowledge are good, but too much will make you crazy. Just as we want to limit our kids’ time texting, using Facebook or watching TV – we need to limit our own time absorbing financial news. A little bit is fine – too much is dangerous to your health as well as your wealth.
  2. Exercise. One of the best ways to reduce stress of any kind it to exercise. You will oxygenate your brain and improve your health. Exercise helps to decrease anxiety and boost blood circulation to your brain. Being physically fit may indeed help you to be fiscally fit.
  3. Focus on what you are grateful for. When you put your attention on what is working in your life you ease some of your suffering around what isn’t working well. There is always something we can find to be grateful for, whether it is your health, people in your life or the beauty in nature. For many this reduces their stress levels and helps to put financial issues in perspective.
  4. Have more sex.  According to Dr. Mehmet Oz, recent animal studies have shown that sexual experiences daily over two weeks reduced cortisol release (a stress hormone that affects the brain’s ability to deal with anxiety). Maybe the answer to market volatility can be found in your bedroom.
  1. Check-in on your plan. Often the worry about the financial impact of the economy is worse than the reality. People sometimes avoid looking at their financial plan because they think their worst fears will be realized. A reality check can help you to feel more in control. Knowing the steps you need to take to reach your goals will help ensure you actually accomplish them.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Is Your Financial Plan on Autopilot?

March 29th, 2011

Every Tuesday I drive into downtown Chicago to consult at Metropolitan Capital Bank.  I park in the same garage, on the same floor every time so I don’t risk forgetting where I parked my car.  The other day I got into the elevator on the 6th floor and pushed the 1st Floor button as I do each Tuesday and the elevator doors closed.  The woman next to me said “Do you think the elevator is broken?”  I had no idea that we weren’t moving.  I’m not sure how much time had passed with the elevator doors closed before she said something to me.  I smiled and said to the woman “I wonder how long I would have stayed in the elevator before I realized that we weren’t moving.”

 At that moment it hit me.  How often to do I go through life not being present?  Doing what I think I should be doing (pushing the button) and then mentally moving on to what ever my mind happens to be chattering about.   I think I’m doing what I should be doing – going through all the right moves – yet being unconscious. 

 In what ways are you going through the right motions with your finances but not really paying attention?  Did you set your allocation for your retirement plan at work and then never looked at the account again?  Maybe you got your estate plan completed – but that was 10 years ago and you haven’t pulled the documents out of the envelope you received from your attorney since you got them.  What about your longer term goals – are you still working off a plan that brings you joy and excitement?

 Setting up systems for your financial plan (such as an automatic savings plan) can be really helpful in getting you to your goals more quickly.  Just make sure that you stay aware and awake to make sure that you are actually moving in the direction you desire to go.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

How to Bring Peace to Your Commute

August 18th, 2010

I am reading a fabulous book about the benefits of giving – Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier and Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark.  There are wonderful, quantifiable benefits for those that do kind acts for others. I just love this book and seem to be mentioning it to everyone I speak to.

My friend Lisa, just shared a fabulous “giving” story with me. She was driving on the expressway one day and let someone in the lane in front of her.  The guy opened his window and gave her the peace sign. She laughed and thought this was so great. The next day, while driving, someone was drifting into her lane and she honked her horn at him. Lisa said “I have a convertible and heard him call me a not-very-nice name that started with a ‘B’. I then gave him the peace sign. A little while later, we both came up to a stop light and I looked over at him to see what his response would be. The guy smiled and gave me the peace sign back. This was such a rush!” Lisa turned this guy’s road rage into road rush and they both were so much happier for it!

Every since I heard this story I am giving out the peace sign while I drive. Actually, I am looking for opportunities to do this because I think it is so much fun. Yesterday on Good Morning America I heard that excessive anger can cause heart problems –  Who knows…giving someone the peace sign and making them smile might actually save someone’s life!

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

One of the Most Dangerous Thoughts You Can Have About Money

May 5th, 2010

 My friend Julie recently told me the story about when her 8 year-old daughter Kate came home from school and declared that she was bad at math.  Julie could not believe her ears.  Why would a 3rd grader think she was bad at math?  Julie immediately pulled out Kate’s standardized test results to prove to her daughter that she was indeed great at math (she had scored in the 95th percentile).  From then on Kate did wonderfully well in all of her math classes. 

 What we think about most is what shows up in our lives

What does this mean? What we say to ourselves is processed by our subconscious and will often bring about results (undesirable as well as desirable results).  Have you convinced yourself that you are bad at math, that you make terrible financial decisions and that you don’t do numbers?  How do you think having this belief has impacted your financial success?   Convincing ourselves that we are weak in an area may be setting the stage for failure.

 Don’t sell yourself short

Now, I’m not saying that you must be an expert in every area.  Actually, I believe in working with experts.  I am a CPA, but don’t prepare my own taxes because this is currently not my specialty nor is it what I enjoy doing.  I would rather pay for expert advice and spend my time and energy doing things that I enjoy and also do really well. What I am suggesting is that when we resist a particular area of our lives and when we convince ourselves that we are unable to handle parts of our lives, we are selling ourselves short.  Even if you work with an expert it is important to stay involved and aware or you won’t be able to maximize your results.

 Women often sell themselves short when managing their money.  They have decided they are dumb at all things financial.  In actuality, these women often are just inexperienced – they have not yet learned about making good financial decisions.  The confusing jargon in the financial world only confirms their belief. 

 Act the part

What would happen if you were to pretend that you were actually savvy when it comes to money decisions? Try this for a week.  See how much easier it is for you to take in information that can benefit you.  If you work with an advisor, notice how you are able to ask the right questions and receive answers that add to your confidence level.  If you are doing research or your own planning on valuable sites like LearnVest, notice how your attention is more focused.  This positive mindset will enable you to learn to be wise in your financial life.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

« Older Entries